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Seeking Inner Fulfillment

Q: Master Raziel. I have looked into different spiritual paths seeking inner fulfillment. Judaism, which is the tradition I was born to, Buddhism and even a little bit of Christianity. I practice Yoga, I went to a Vipassana center, been in India and tried few Shamanic experiences, inc taking psychedelics in South America. To be fair to myself, I think that I am not too stupid, I have a fair grasp of many things, have a lovely relationship, a nice, good job, and a beautiful house. But in all honesty, I am yet to feel truly fulfilled. It's like there is this big emptiness inside me which I simply cannot satisfy! Please help me! What can I do??
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A: Oh, that's good! Not finding the fulfillment that you seek is Good Karma. You should be very happy with it. Many find inner fulfillment in practices such as Judaism, or Buddhism, or any 'ism. Only a few lucky ones go through these 'ism's without finding any inner fulfillment. 
 
Q: I am not sure that I get you here. Feeling empty inside is not a nice feeling. It makes me feel annoyed and unhappy. 
A: I see. But what you feel about that emptiness - which you rightfully sense within your own experience of a self - is a matter of your own choice. You can choose to feel happy about it, not sad. And so, if your issue here is 'HOW' you feel about that emptiness, just change how you feel about it, that it easy to do!
But if your issue is with the emptiness itself, well, there are many paths that will be able to hypnotize you to think that you fulfilled that emptiness - but none can truly fulfill you - and it's not something you should be striving for anyway, as without your emptiness you will become useless. It is your emptiness that makes you useful to the world. Without it, you will have no use.
Q: Master, please, I am not following you. How can I change my feeling about not being fulfilled to feel happy about it instead of annoyed and upset, and why will I become useless if I was to find inner fulfillment. Isn't inner fulfillment the actual goal of all spiritual paths?
A: No. Inner fulfillment is NOT the goal of any truly spiritual path. It is only the pointless goal of the brain-dead wanting to be hypnotized by a system - call it Judaism, Patriotism or TV'ism until they are unable to actually remember that they are empty.
But emptiness itself is your nature. It is what makes you useful. A person wanting to not be empty inside is like the ocean wanting not to be wet, or the sun wanting to be hot.
And happiness, well, happiness is just another name for sadness. And happiness/sadness is just the name of an emotional phenomenon. A manner of relating to experience. It will always fluctuate, always change. To want to be 'only happy' is like the ocean wanting to always be still and not have tides and currents. What happens when water stand still? They become stagnated. Just realize that your emptiness is GREAT, then you will be happy about it. 
Q: How is my emptiness makes me GREAT?
A: Well, in Japanese, even though I usually prefer to not use technical Japanese terms, but in this case maybe it's good to know, in Japanese that emptiness is called "Mu". I am telling you this so you might go and study a little about 'Mu' in Zen, because our time here is limited, and maybe it will give you some further understanding, or not, this can also happen... But it is this emptiness that is within you that makes you useful. It is this emptiness that allows you to function. You are a holder of divinity, yes? Well, how can you hold anything without emptiness? Look around you! All things that hold must be empty within. Just Look.
Q: Master Raziel, I cannot see this. Please help me to understand further.
A: Just look around you! You are driving a car. But what is it about the car that makes it useful to you? The wheels? The engine? The steering wheel? No. This is just the envelope. The technical envelope to wrap the emptiness around it, and to be able to move that emptiness around...
 Q: I am still not really following you. what do you mean but the emptiness of the car? I am sorry Master but you will have to talk to me very simply, please, like you would talk to a child...
A: Well, where do you sit when you are driving a car?
Q: Inside it.
A: Exactly! You sit in emptiness!
You sit at the emptiness in the midst of the form.
Imagine a car full of 'carnessness'...
(I like to use 'ness' at the end of words to talk about their essence. As there is no proper grammatical manner to talk about the essence of things in English, or maybe I just don't know how to say it because English is not my first language).
Anyway, yes, imagine now please a car full of 'carnessness': all of the car completely full of metal and rubber and glass. Chocked full of it - without any empty space inside it.
What will it be good for? Could you use it? You could not sit anywhere. So it's the emptiness that the car is carrying which makes the car useful. Without being essentially empty it has no value. What you call a "car" is just a device to move emptiness around in an efficient manner. 
Q: OK, I get that. So it's the emptiness inside the car is where I sit that makes the car useful, yes. But how does it relates to me as a person?
A: Well you are not a person - you are also an emptiness.
A person is just the envelope that holds the emptiness which is you.
What is a cup? Again, a cup is just a form to envelop an emptiness, yes? It is not the cup that brings us usefulness, right? It is the emptiness in the middle of the cup that allows it to carry something, to function as a cup. The function is at the emptiness, not the form. The form is just a holder of the emptiness. The divine emptiness. The emptiness which is the mother of our world. The emptiness which connects everything, which makes everything possible, which allows everything to be.Your emptiness is divine. Do not seek to pretend to fulfill it. Seek to experience it. 
Q: So I should not be seeking self-fulfillment at all?
A: Exactly! What if the cup was to seek inner-fulfilment? What if we help it? We can fill it all with cupnesness. It's very easy, I mean, a cup is just made of clay, right? So let's fill the whole cup with clay and here we go - now the cup is self-fulfilled.
But is it useful for anything?
It will still be here. It will still be an object. It will still sit here on the table. But it will become useless as a cup. Why will it become useless? Because it is not really the clay that made the cup a cup - it is the emptiness inside it that made the cup a cup.
The clay surrounding that emptiness is just there to define that little piece of emptiness so it can be shaped as useful. Got it? Or do you want another example?
Q: Yes, please give me another example Master.
A: Think of a house then: What is it really in the house that makes it useful, that makes you enjoy it? What makes it into a house? IIt'snot the roof, not the walls, not the floors. It is the emptiness within it that allows you the space to enjoy that thing that I would like to call 'houseness'. But houseness, just like cupness, and just like selfness, is only functional as a form if it is containing emptiness within it. Fill the whole of the house with houseness, that is, fill it all with building materials until there is not one square centimeter anywhere which is free of houseness, and the house has lost its meaning. It is not a house anymore.
So a car fulfilled is a car without usefulness. And a cup fulfilled is a cup without usefulness. And a house fulfilled is a house without usefulness. And it's exactly the same with you: To fulfill you would be to kill your usefulness.
Because you are emptiness.
Q: So if I am emptiness, and the cup or house or car is also emptiness, what is really the difference between me and a house, or a cup?
A: Good Question! There is no difference at all.
The form is only there to define the emptiness. Emptiness is the lack of form. But form is not a lack of emptiness. The form is the background of emptiness. Emptiness is not the background of form. So as emptiness, you are undefined and you are no different to a cup or a house.  Sure, once the form is being weaved around you, your emptiness becomes defined. Some forms are birds, or a dolphin, or an ant, or a car, house or a cup, but each form that is made to carry anything within it has exactly the same emptiness.It is only the form that surrounds the emptiness that has an individual vibration frequency, structure and being. The Emptiness is the same everywhere, and in that emptiness, you, a house and a cup are all ONE.
Q: I see that our time has come to an end. I will meditate upon this talk. I thank you so much, Master Raziel. In some ways I find your words to be very hard to understand, but somehow just sitting here in (the emptiness of my) house and talking to you makes me feel elevated, more alive, more real. I am not sure how you do that but I want to thank you for it from the bottom of my heart. Bless You, Master. Thank you so much. 
A: Well, as emptiness to emptiness, let me honestly tell you that I put no value onto empty words, and so your thankfulness is meaningless to me. Meditate seriously upon this question of your own internal emptiness please. Where is it? Why is it there? How it's used? What is it meant to carry?  And in the meantime be happy that you can sense your own emptiness because it's real.
Do not seek self-fulfilment! Seek to understand your emptiness, not to kill it, and let me know what you come up with next time we talk. This is your Koan, so look into it!
Seek to understand your emptiness, not to kill it. and let me know what you come up with next time we talk. This is your Koan, so look into it!
And let me know what you come up with next time we talk. This is your Koan, so look into it!
This is your Koan, "Mu", so look into it...
Bless. X

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