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Looking For a New Partner

Q:
Dear Zen-Master Raziel Roshi,
I separated from my boyfriend 4 months ago. We have been together for 2 years  and I feel so very lonely now. I really want to meet and have a new boyfriend, but I can't find anyone I really like. Should I continue waiting even if it will take me many months, or even years, to find the right person. Or should I find a boyfriend whom is not perfect but at least I will not be lonely any more??

A:
Dear ___erased___

If you will wait for the perfect man - you might end up waiting forever, because no one is really perfect.
That means you will be living an illusion.
But if you take a new man just because you are afraid of your loneliness, it will mean you will be living out of fear, the fear of staying alone.

Both living out of fear (of loneliness) or out of attachment to an illusion (of perfectness) will cause you more suffering, so I would not recommend any of these two options.
But, there is a third option!

Embrace you loneliness.

The most important person in your life is YOU.
And so the most perfect relationship you should strive to have is a good relationship with YOURSELF.
Take yourself out to a nice dinner. Invite yourself to a holiday. Take yourself out to watch a movie, a music concert, a street festival... Get to know yourself, and to accept yourself: both your good and bad parts.

Only when you will become a good partner to yourself you can become a really good partner to someone else as well.

And in the meantime, don't worry about your next boyfriend. When Karma will see that you are becoming a better partner to your own self, she will send you a better male-partner to compliment you. It will happen when the time is right, I promise.

Lots of Love,
Raziel.

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